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Tux-On-The-Town Aka HashComing 9/25/2021

posted Sep 9, 2021, 10:42 PM by Marcus Clark   [ updated Sep 24, 2021, 6:36 PM ]

Updates 9/24/2021:
  • We are meeting at a table near the front door of NewBo City Market (2:22pm)
  • There is beer inside; Ryan, our Hoptimist at NewBo is offering us $1 off Market Lager.
  • It's supposed to be beautiful and in the 70s!
  • Note, all stops have food, but for time's sake, I'd suggest you grab a bite before, at NewBo, or at our last stop around 5pm (or wait and go to the market).
Please RSVP on the public Facebook event.

Q: Is business casual acceptable?
A: Anything is acceptable. leisure suits, belly dance costumes, grass skirts, a t-shirt with the word "tux" sharpied on it.  Click on the links below for ideas.
Q: Can I wear heels or nice shoes?
A: Most of the trail is paved with some grassy areas.  I've never worn heels.  "Trail" is about 1.5 miles.  We will not be blessing any virgin shoes.
Q: What is we are late?
A: Try to call/text someone you know on trail including me.  However, we will try to post each bar right before we arrive so you can join late.
Q: Can you drink on the street at Market After Dark?"
A: Yes!  Even Alcohol... assuming you are 21+.

Call it what you like, but this is a glorified bar crawl!  Pay-as-you goYou just don't know where the next bar is going to be...
Open to everyone - not just our normal hares & harriets! Trail lingo will be limited; end-circle will be optional if even existent.

This is an event for anyone who wants to dress to the nines, dress their craziest, or somewhere in between.  Examples: tuxes, suits, ballgowns, old 80's prom dresses, old bridesmaid dresses, old wedding dresses, formal wear kilts, someone dressed like prom-night Carrie, your Goodwill finest find, fancy cocktail dress, red dress, etc...

This event will be a fun-raiser for the Cedar Valley Humane Society.  Recommendation is $10 collected at the start (or along the way).

What you need to know:
  • Start Time: 2:22 p.m. on Saturday, September 25th
    Get there before 2:45 and you won't be lost.
  • Start Location: NewBo City Market
    - Meeting at a tablet outside near the front entrance.
    - You can get a drink here (ask for plastic to go outside). $1 off Market Lager (thanks Ryan!)
    - 1100 3rd St SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52401
  • Cost: $10 recommended donation for CVHS.  Then pay-as-you-go
  • 3-4 bar stops.
  • Dress to be noticed 😁
  • No Shiggy (i.e. we will be on paved paths and roads)
      - "unless you really want us to" (optional shiggy)
  • All stops will have a patio!  You can remain outside with the exception of grabbing a drink
  • Please RSVP on the public Facebook event  so we can give the bars a rough count.
  • Please feel comfortable wearing a mask; please respect those distancing and wearing masks.
Things you may want to know:
  • Field of C is leaving us! This is her last event as an Iowan!
  • We will try to get specials if possible at all establishments.
  • There may be voting for things like... best dressed. There may or may not be prizes.
  • Market After Dark (#AfterDarkCR) is going on 6:30-11.  We will be there on-after!
  • Why run when you can walk? Or piggy-back ride.
  • Take lots of picturesThe picture was of pitchers. it was a pun. get it!? did you get it!!???
Market After Dark:
This event was meant to be longer, but it worked out so well to do it the weekend of Marker After Dark.  This is Cedar Rapids' night-time Farmer's Market.  There will be lot of entertainment, vendors, food, and you and drink on the street! 😎  Even if you want' make our bar crawl, I hope to see you at the Market After Dark.
So we will have only 3-4 stops on the bar crawl in an effort to end up at the market.
The plan is to eat here and let everyone get what they want, but it's understandable if you grab a bite along the way too. BANNER BUZZ MAKE IT VISIBLE Patio Signs Decor - Relax, Unwind &  Accept The Crazy Hanging Funny Metal Outdoor Party Sign (18" (H) X 12" (W))  : Patio, Lawn & Garden

Baconator Trail

posted Feb 18, 2017, 8:40 AM by Marcus Clark   [ updated Feb 18, 2017, 8:40 AM ]

BACON-ator's First Trail
Hares: NNBacon & Wet Cherry Surprise
Details TBD.


BallShaker's 40th Birthday Trail

posted Jan 21, 2017, 8:31 PM by Marcus Clark

The skinny:
Hare: Holy Cotton Pusher
Dead Trail
2pm: Meet at Sag Wagon
2:30: Chalk Talk & Pack Away

4th Anal Huck Finn Hash

posted Aug 27, 2016, 9:30 AM by Balsch Acre

Please join our Facebook Group or contact us for more info on this event.
September 10th, Guttenberg, Iowa

Show up in the evening if you want to camp over the night before. More below.
10:30 am - 11:15am Campers check-in and setup camp
11:30 am    Shuttle to Trail Start. DON'T BE LATE
12:00 pm Meet at Start, Chalk Talk, and Trail   
5ish pm    Circle then Dinner on-your-own.
- Camp: (Join the FB group/event or contact us)
- Trail Start Location: TBD (Join the FB event or contact us)

This is big kids adult trail. 21+
Beautiful Shiggy Steep Beery Fun.
TRAIL TYPE: A-to-B, Mostly Dead, SHIGGY. Intended for Walkers/Hikers
HARES: LaLaLaLaLa Gonorrhea, Holy Cotton Pusher, BallShaker.

COST: $25 OR LESS. Probably $15 for non-campers.
To start, about 4-5 drinks + circle, water on trail, snacks on trail, camping space, showers, bathrooms, possibly hash haberdashery, and everything else. Can't beat that for camping, adventure, shiggy, beauty, and fun.
We don't give change. So if you give us $30, thanks for the extra donation to the Kennel.

There should be some Alcoholic Non-Beer drinks at each Beer Stop.

BRING: DRY BAG with change of shoes, good disposition toward steep terrain, *flashlight*, long socks or pants, whistle. Hiking boots are acceptable. Underwear Optional. More on this in the upcumming info sheet and with map.
If camping, bring the stuff you need when camping :P

DON'T BRING: Grumpiness or inhibitions.

CAMPING: (Join FB Group or contact us for more info)
Camp spaces, hose faucets, showers, bathrooms, firepits, and a nice bubbling brook to listen to.
Not sure about picnic tables, but always a good idea to bring some chairs.
PLEASE DO NOT GO POTTY WITHIN SITE OF OTHER CAMPGROUND OCCUPANTS.  Hide in the corn, the woods, or use the actual real bathroom! THANKS.  Apparently that was the only complaint the owner got from other residents last year lol.
Also, if you wish to camp with the hares on FRIDAY night, we worked out a deal for $10/tent (or other sleeping thingy) for FRIDAY night. Let us know if you're cumming FRIDAY.
Don’t Drink & Drive.
THERE ARE CABINS --> posted in the facebook group.

This trail is intended more toward walkers/hikers due to terrain, but do whatever you want :) You'll see some beautiful and cool stuff, we promise! Estimated 3.5-4 miles (may change). A bit less rugged than the previous locations.

TRAIL ASSUMPTIONS: This is a SHIGGY STEEP TRAIL. You will get scratches. You will get a bit dirty. You will go through nettles & thorns. You will likely get wet. You will love it. THE TRAIL WILL NOT GO THROUGH POISON IVY (nasty shit!), but I can't guarantee you'll stay on trail...

GUTTENBERG and related stuff:
Guttenberg is bigger than Buenie, but still small. We will (probably) be shuttling people to the start of trail from the camp. So don't be late! Circle location is a secret.  If you bring food for you or to share for on-after it will have to stay in your car or tent all day; keep that in mind!
I expect trail will get done before 5:30 with dinner to follow. Note that (for once) our time estimates last year were DEAD ON (dead on-on?). Also - an odd note - showing up inebriated to this trail might not be a great plan. Being inebriated by the end is encouraged!

This is a joint Co-Hard by CRapids HHH and Cedar Falls HHH

Our Friends & Terms Below!
Cedar Falls Hash House Harriers:

Iowa Shitty Hash House Harriers:

Quad Cities Hash House Harriers - Raccoon Chapter:

Some Terms Defined:
*Hash House Harriers (us) - Social Drinkers with a Running/Jogging/Walking/(Hiking?) problem.
*Hare - person(s) hosting the trail
*Hounds - the people on the trail (you)
*Virgin - you (if you've never been on a trail)
*Kennel - the local hash "chapter"
*Shiggy - part or all of the "trail" is off-trail (thru the woods, streams, fields...?)
*Dead Trail - Trail is pre-layed. Hares are with the Hounds
*A-to-A' - trail ends very near where it starts. (vs A-to-A or A-to-B)
*Dry Bag - a bag you bring that will be available to you at the end of trail for a potentially needed changes of clothes & shoes.
*Hash - has nothing to do with the herb. sorry...
*Hashers like to update English with our favorite words - Anal for Annual, cum for come,
*Smegma - secretion of mammalian genitals. Hopefully this knowledge is not useful, but is strictly for the sake of knowledge. And it's fun to say. smegma. Smmmegma. say it. smegma. great word. smegma.

What you might expect:

1. Have Fun
2. Call hounds (hashers) by their hash name
3. First time? you're a "virgin."
4. You won't get all the details here. That's part of the fun.
5. You aren't required to bring beer. Bring your trail $ . After the trail & beer run out you're on your own, but there is a nearby bar. However, I won't be refusing your booze if you bring some extra on trail to share.
6. Respect the circle
7. Respect others -- this should not prevent light haggling, taunting, and general calling you out on your BS!
8. Don't drink and drive (Cotton says I’m not supposed to say “if you do drive it off before you go home”).

If you read this far (unlikely), the word of the trail is "cumtastic." Work it into a sentence.

On On!
-BallShaker & Co

Urban Shiggy - Montly 2nd Thursday Trail

posted Jul 9, 2016, 8:44 AM by Balsch Acre   [ updated Jul 12, 2016, 8:46 PM ]

Hares: BallShaker, NNKatlyn, & NNKatElyn
Dead Trail, A-B, SHIGGY SHIGGY. Dry Bags! (see below)
Knee socks/pants and Boots not a bad idea. Think *hike*
Consider bringing a bag and water.
Cost: $5
Start: Mohawk Park Boat Landing
Google says this is 219 J Ave. Don't use mapquest. Directions posted below. If you don't see a boat ramp, you're not in the right place.  There is park pavilion there.
Bear Nears: 2-3
I lied earlier: no runners' leg.
On After, somewhere in the area -- likely Sag Wagon.
There will be a beer alt.

*DRY BAG* Just in case you're new - a dry bag is something you bring along to change into after trail b/c of dirt, water, mud, grass stains on your ass (the old green gown), etc.  It should defintely include shoes & socks.
We will *probably* have your dry bags taken to the end. We'll see, based on time/logistics.

You are going to a pavilion near the entrance of Mohawk park at the boat launch/landing.
If you can get to J Ave NE going west -- just follow it almost to the end, then backup about 100 feet. :)  
If you have to turn right onto Long Bluff Rd, you've gone too far.
For you alco-bike-aholics -> directions from the Sag Wagon:
Go north on Shaver Rd until you can't.
Go left on J Ave
Take a left into  Mohawk Park.

Cherry's Bday Hash - May 12th, 2016

posted Apr 28, 2016, 1:27 PM by Balsch Acre   [ updated Apr 28, 2016, 1:28 PM ]

Cherry's Bidet Hash!
Details TBD (or see Facebook)
Hare: Wet Cherry Surprise

4th Anal Trashy Hash

posted Mar 14, 2016, 2:29 PM by Balsch Acre   [ updated Apr 18, 2016, 8:20 AM ]

April 23rd, 1:00 p.m.
Beverly GARDENS, South of Hwy 30 off Edgewood in Cedar Rapids.
If you are not a Facebook Group member, please RSVP via the balschacre [at] pycks [dot] com

Update: $10. We reserve the right to lower this the day-of.

You may meet us at the starting location at 1pm or be part of a carpool from lunch.
(do yourself a favor and print this)

4th Anal Spring Trashy Hash!
Golden Showers Bring May Flowers

New (aka Virgin) to this? Think "Beer Scavenger Hunt" and at the bottom of this post we might explain more general details and terms. We might not. Show up. ;-)

HARES: Wet Cherry Surprise & BallShaker
COST: $10
This gets you fun and drinks and stuff. Don't ask so many questions!
11:30 - (OPTIONAL) Lunch at Silver Star Grill & Bar
        2665 Edgewood Pkwy SW, Cedar Rapids, IA 52404
        (about 1 mile north of the staring location)
1:00pm - Meet-up.  Chalk Talk soon After.
        Beverly GARDENS (NOT the Park).
        Pack Away at 1:30pm
        Lat/Long: 41.928433, -91.716110
        Go south on Edgewood from Hwy 30.
        Cross over the railroad and Prairie Creek Bridge.
        Take the next right. There will be a sign for Beverly Gardens.
        Parking may change, but as of now simply park at the bottom of the drive.
        Carpooling recommended!
        A map link will be posted as a comment on this event.
TYPE: A to B. Dead Trail. Circle will be at B.
SHIGGY: Lots of Shiggy. Pants/Long Socks recommended. No dry bag needed (unless I'm wrong or it rains).
DISTANCE: 3.5 Miles. Friendly to walkers/Hikers. Better to just call this a hike.
BRING: $10 & low expectations -> flashlight, whistle, good attitude, & dirty mind.
WHERE SHOES/BOOTS YOU CAN GET DIRTY and wear off-trail in rough terrain.
A water bottle and anything else you want to carry is a good idea.

The Theme is Spring Trashy: Golden Showers Bring May Flowers
You can interpret as you like. Trashy. Eastery. Trashed. Garbagy. Floral. Flour...
BEER STOPS: 3.5 or more. Probably.
Pre-Trail-Libations are provided by YOURSELF (at Silver Star).
Grub: Some snacks will be provided mid-trail.
Dog Friendly: Yes, if they are sure-footed.
Family Friendly: No - this is an adult/alcohol themed event. 21+
NON-BEER-DRINKER?: Vodka-Lemonade/juice alt.
PLEASE LET US KNOW IF YOU PREFER THIS OVER BEER -- OTHERWISE YOU GET BEER. (It's a Cherry trail, you know there will be sweet drinks!)
PARKING: This may be updated, but currently it is at the start right at the entrance to Beverly GARDENS.
Try to carpool for safety and greenness. Also, if you crash, it will take more of you wankers out at one time.
If you're willing to DD, please post!

Need more info? Read on. Otherwise, RSVP YES NOW!

--------- More Detailed Info ---------------
-- this is primarily aimed at newbies

Stuck My Stick put in a good point a while back -- that you can figure out what all of this means by showing up :)
So I won't put in my normal links and BS and term-guide etc. Like he said, if you've done this before you won’t read it and if you’re new it won’t help that much.
This is a shiggy (of-the-path/in-the-woods) trail with thorns and such, so dress accordingly.
If you are new, just show up, bring your beer funds, and have fun. Better yet, whoever is bringing you should pay for you.
Don't look at me though. Not drinking? The trail/fun is worth it and any surplus $ (never happens) goes to the CRapids Kennel fund.
The simplest way to describe this is an outdoor beer scavenger hunt with some traditions. We are social drinkers with a running problem (mine, BallShaker’s, being that I don’t run).

If you read this far (unlikely), the word of the trail is "Scat." Work it into a sentence. Or some other way.

On On! Rain or Shine! :)
--BallShaker & Wet Cherry Surprise

ICNC Pancake Breakfast and Nature Walk

posted Mar 14, 2016, 2:22 PM by Balsch Acre   [ updated Mar 14, 2016, 2:24 PM ]

Pancake Breakfast and Nature Walk
at the Indian Creek Nature Center
Sunday, March 20th, at 10am.
6665 Otis Rd SE, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52403

This is not a hared trail - just a chance to get together, see and support the nature center, eat some real-maple-syrup pancakes, and go for a nice walk on their trails.

Description from FB:
The Indian Creek Nature Center hosts a pancake breakfast featuring their Maple syrup. Who would love to come out and enjoy some delicious pancakes? 

And, stealing an idea from our friends, CFH3, we can walk the trails afterwards.

Here is the Indian Creek Nature Center's event:

Here is our CRH3 Group Event (if you're a group member):

(Not so)Tech Trail Jan 10th

posted Jan 6, 2016, 7:15 AM by Balsch Acre   [ updated Jan 9, 2016, 5:00 PM ]

Start: Stella's, 416 3rd St SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52401
Meet 2PM
Hare(s) Away 2:30
Pack Away 2:45

$!%&*#@ Motorboat & Wet Cherry Surprise = Mc(squared)
Hare's reserve the right to modify trail or change to drinking practice (as always!)

Ok, the tech trail has been postponed, but much fun will be had at whatever crazy thing the hares come up with in Down Town Cedar Rapids! :D

("Oh, I get it! (M)otorboat, (C)ocksicle, and (C)herry is Mc(squared)?" -- ballsharker)

Facebook Event


The Frozen Hash Jan 24th

posted Jan 6, 2016, 6:21 AM by Balsch Acre   [ updated Jan 11, 2016, 9:25 AM ]

The Frozen Hash - Also BallShaker's Birthday Trail
January 24th, 2pm Meet, Pack-away about 2:30.
Hare(s): BallShaker
Location: TBD, somewhere in NE Cedar Rapids
Details TBD

Theme to be interpreted anyway you wish

Facebook Event:

Questions? Email BallShaker: balschacre [at] pycks [.] com

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